4 Signs Ministry Is Suffocating Your Family

family leadership spiritual growth Apr 24, 2017

Christian leaders: It doesn’t matter what kind of anointed powerhouse our followers think we are….

Ultimately it doesn’t even matter if our ministry is booming, thriving, and growing….

If we are neglecting the needs of our families then we as leaders in the Body of Christ are OUT OF ORDER.

There are more needs than just financial needs, so I’m not just talking about throwing money at the problem. There are physical needs, emotional, and spiritual. This word is for women ministers and men. We as parents are first called as leaders in our homes. Everything we do in ministry should be an overflow. If we as ministers get to the point where our family resents our ministry, that means we are not ministering out of an overflow. 

Now I’m not saying ministry will never be an inconvenience on you or you family because of all people, I know that sometimes it is. What I am saying is when our family knows they ultimately come first, and their needs are met consistently, they will support the times that your family as a whole decides to sacrifice or become inconvenienced for the sake of ministry.

How do I know this? Ha! The same way I come to know most of life’s most important lessons: THE HARD WAY. I’ve made these mistakes myself and God set me back on track. I’m so thankful for God’s grace and mercy.

Being a leader of a ministry is hard work. Sometimes you give of yourself until there’s nothing left over to give to your family. Again, the only reason I even know this is because I’ve been there. But I don’t want that to become normal for me. God wants me to minister out of overflow.

One thing that was critical to change in my ministry was to change the way I thought about it. Instead of giving of myself and giving my family what was left over, God prompted me to put certain things FIRST, and only minister out of an overflow.

So what did God call me to put first?

Firstly, my relationship with God is the most precious thing in my life. I can’t be a good wife, mother, pastor, minister, or anything else when I am not refreshed and resting in God’s love.

Next, God called me to make sure my relationships with my husband and children are thriving.

To keep me from falling out of balance with my ministry that I run, the church that I pastor with my husband, there are some signs that I’ve learned to keep an eye out for.

Some of the huge tell-tale signs that I’m out of balance:

1. My kids’ behavior. When my kids need more of me in some way, they begin to act different. They are not the best they can be when they aren’t feeling the most loved by mom and dad. If my kids’ grades have fallen, or their behavior is rebellious or disrespectful, many times I realize that it was rooted in a relational need that they have that has gone unmet. Once I meet that need, fill their “love tank” and make sure they are equipped and encouraged, their behavior always seems to get back on the right track.

2. I’m stressed, sick, or grumpy. When I get really sarcastic and rude… It’s a sign that I’m out of balance between ministry and family/alone time with God. Being too busy causes me to eat unhealthy foods, not get enough rest, and not do the things that cause my health thrive. Each one of us have basic personal needs in our life. Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. We as Christians sometimes tend to act so spiritual that we forget that how we treat our earthly body is of importance to God.

3. We haven’t made time for just our family in a while. It would seem that even though I need alone time to recharge, our family needs quality alone time with just us. No company coming over, nobody on the phone, mom and dad not distracted or multitasking… We have to prioritize it because both parents in our home are extraverts. My husband and I both love to entertain guests in our home, and we love to eat out, however our kids need low key time to recharge at home with just mommy and daddy and maybe some movies, conversation, books, a meal, or some games.

4. Irritability between my husband and I. If we’re too tired to have quality time and intimacy with one another, invest into one another, encourage one another, then we have our priorities out of whack. We can tell when we’re snapping at one another or being rude… That’s usually an indicator that we need to prioritize our relationship back above ministry where it belongs.

And in a perfect world, I wouldn’t wait until these areas are completely in a state of emergency before getting things back on track. Ideally, I like to just kind of recognize when it's a little off balance and then make the proper adjustment.

I pray these are a blessing to your life. It is my desire that you, your family, and your ministry would be full of joy and excitement.

I’m honored that you took this time to allow me to speak into your life.

Be blissed!

Amber Picota

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