When Healing Doesn’t Happen In The Prayer LineMar 10, 2017
Almost a year ago I came to terms with the fact that I was sick and had been sick for a while. Some days were good, but many days I was very tired, my body hurt, and I just didn’t know how I would muster up enough energy to go about normal tasks like blowdrying my hair. The spring and summer of 2016 were cluttered with ER visits and doctor visits for me. That summer was beautiful and wonderful many reasons, but it was also painful and hard.
I had gained weight slowly but steadily over the course of a couple years. I stayed slightly depressed and bummed on and off, which is extremely uncharacteristic of my natural personality.
When my symptoms began to escalate to chest pains, migraines, extreme fatigue and confusion, bladder infections, and E. coli, I started getting serious about pursuing medical help. I didn’t know what was going on but I knew we had to figure out quickly!
Now keep in mind that I’m a Christian pastor who FULLY believes in supernatural healing. I believe in ridiculous miracles but I was sick, seemingly unable to tap into the power for my own healing. That’s hard, right there.
I also want to just put out there that I don’t believe for one second that God sends sickness but I do believe that God will work ALL situations together for good, and that He can bring good out of a bad situation. When the enemy intended to destroy you, God will come work that trial into a blessing. I believe that with all my heart.
Throughout my entire experience with this terrible ordeal, I went through prayer lines, had my friends pray for me, prayed for myself, had my husband pray over me, sent out an alert to our entire prayer team of about 200 people, and even decreed, prophesied, and commanded my own healing to come forth.
I did the spiritual things that a good Charismatic/Pentecostal girl does.
Many of those times that I received prayer, I KNEW something had just happened, and one or two symptoms went away for good. Something actually did happen SOME of the times, and sometimes I went through a prayer line/ a friend prayed for me when nothing seemed to happen.
Don’t you for one second think that I’m trying to say prayer doesn’t work. It does.
God is still in the business of supernatural healing. I’m more convinced of that than ever.
I’ve seen broken bones healed before my very eyes. I’ve watched as we prayed for our children and their fevers broke within 5 minutes and they were completely healed. I’ve prayed for a puppy who was completely dead from PARVO, and saw with my very own eyes as this little guy came back to life! I could go on and on about all the miraculous healings I’ve seen with my own two eyes. It’s quite a challenge to your faith to see all these miracles and be seriously sick, awaiting a miracle for yourself.
Getting Real with Myself
Authenticity was a really important aspect of my recovery and my healing, because at first I felt ashamed to tell anyone exactly what kind of pain I was in. I felt bad about inconveniencing others with my problems because I’m supposed to be a leader. I’m supposed to be strong for others and that meant I couldn’t bother them with my problems. That’s a lie from the enemy that is used to isolate a person from the support they need in friendship and love from others.
When I did finally open up to my friend, it was actually her and a mutual friend who referred me to a naturopath who specialized in helping people heal from serious illnesses. My transparency with her was a stepping stone to one of the MAJOR components that led to MUCH healing. How about that!
I went to this naturopath and what showed up in my test results was painful to hear. Lyme’s Disease, adrenal fatigue, hormone imbalance, UTI, E. Coli infection, and under-active thyroid all showed up on my workup. Seriously? “Is this real life?”, is all I could remember thinking. How could this be happening to me?
She immediately put me on a very strict diet, eliminating foods that were irritating the problem, along with starting me on an intensive herbal and vitamin regimen. Also she told me that the extreme cardio that I was doing (kickboxing 3-5 times per week) was irritating the adrenal fatigue and that I needed to drop out of those classes immediately and start doing something low impact and restorative like yoga. After implementing these changes I had 3 of the worst days (health wise) of my entire life. I could barely move without pain. I spent most of those 3 days on the couch crying and sleeping. I could barely even get my kids to school. The brain fog and exhaustion was so extreme that it was scary.
When I came out of those 3 days I HAD HOPE AGAIN. I began to believe that I WOULD INDEED recover. That was almost 6 months ago. Today I am very excited to report that MOST of the symptoms are gone, and most days I feel amazing. I have very few bad days, whereas before, most of my days were bad with the occasional good day. Isn’t that amazing?!
I fully believe that one day I’ll be writing an update blog that testifies of a complete and full healing, all symptoms gone and stronger than ever. I believe that with every fiber of my being, because I am healing day by day.
Why Bother Writing This?
- I want to update people who have been praying for me on my healing progress. I just think that God is SO good and I’m just so grateful for my health so I kind of want to brag on what God has been doing.
- It is my desire to encourage you that if you haven’t seen your healing yet, don’t give up because not all healing come immediately. God created your body to heal, and He created herbs and healing agents in nature all around us. Healing is important to God but not all healing happens all fast and flashy.
- I encourage Christians to seek both spiritual healing AND natural healing. Sometimes there are spiritual roots to sickness, such as self-hatred and unforgiveness. Sometimes there are natural roots such as a deficiency in a vitamin or mineral. These are both very important and we need to not ignore either part of the puzzle. Many times I see Christians completely neglect their physical health because they’re believing that EVERYTHING is spiritual. The natural and the spiritual of life are interwoven. There’s a beautiful balance, and both are important.
Here are my major takeaways from this past 10 months that I pass on to you:
- Do not give up faith for healing, even when that healing doesn’t manifest all at once. Keep believing in the goodness of God because He is good.
- Try not to get angry at your body and allow seeds of self-hatred take root in you. That is something that happened to me and God called me out on it.
- Love your body, even if you did gain weight. Bless your body daily with healing declarations. Do not give into the temptation to speak curses or negative declarations over your body.
- Don’t stop going through prayer lines or retreat as an island to yourself. Allow your friends and loved ones to support you.
- Seek medical help. Start wherever you know to start, whether that means you make an appointment with your MD or your holistic health provider. For me, I started at the ER and ended up at a naturopath. That was what I felt Holy Spirit leading me to. It wasn’t all totally clear at the time what I should do but God did guide my steps and led me to the naturopath that has been a tremendous blessing to my life.
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